Emotions

Your emotions make you human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. Don’t lock them away. If you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.

Sabaa Tahir, A Torch Against the Night

If you are practicing or have practiced yoga, you have probably been told that a practice can bring up a lot of emotions. You may have been told that you store emotions in some areas of your body. This may or may not be true. What is true is that we all carry emotions and for some reason, in some days of yoga practice, a practice can really bring up some intense emotions. I’ve experienced it very recently during a hip yoga practice.

My best friend passed away almost four years ago. The anniversary of her passing which I refer to as her homecoming will be this upcoming Sunday. I am sure I have written about her passing before. Most of the time, I am okay, but in this particular practice, I was not. I felt the pain that I have been carrying at her loss. We are going through a crisis right now in our country with a pandemic, our lives have changed drastically, we have a new normal, and in my practice, I was overwhelmed with sadness. Admittedly, I try to stifle the sadness quickly when it does come, there is so much to do and I cannot wallow in grief.

As I settled in firelog pose, I thought about the fun summers we used to have, the jokes we laughed at, the music we listened to, how she was so full of life. And I breathed through those emotions. I let myself feel the sadness, I got on my surfboard and crested the waves of sadness. I allowed myself to feel as I flowed from firelog to frog pose. My sadness means that she is not forgotten and I do not want to forget her. This practice was a reminder to give myself permission to feel even the painful feelings. I just must remember to breathe.