I wrote about the yama of asteya in my last post. I talked about how I was stealing my time participating in activities that served no productive purpose. I was not using my energy in the right way which is what the fourth yama is about, how energy is directed: brahmacharya. Now this is commonly interpreted as meaning sexual restraint, celibacy. and chastity. However, I am a married woman with a child so clearly I am not chaste. So this yama would appear to not be relevant to my life. Appearances can be deceiving.
Brahmacharya is directing your energy correctly and for the right purpose. It would be easy to question what the right purpose is but it is also easy to know where your energy should be directed. Is your energy focused on obtaining more “things”? In our world, we do need money to get our basic needs met but a lot of the time, we find ourselves focused on external desires such as a big(ger) house, a newer car, name-brand items, having what others have (“Keeping up with the Joneses” as my mother would say) rather than stoking our internal fire and finding happiness from within. This is cliche, I understand this well, but it is possible to find happiness within one’s own self. And it makes a big difference in how you experience life. This is not saying that you will find nirvana but it is about accepting who you are with what you already have within.
In the fitness world, we may find ourselves trying to participate in the newest fitness exercise fad, wear the fashionable fitness attire, try the newest food diet, and possibly idolize a certain body type. We could be using that energy working on a fitness regimen that works specifically for our body. What works for one, may not work for others. Not to mention, much of what we see, particularly online, is not always reality. For me, I was not using my energy in the right way. I was participating in yoga challenges that focused on a specific pose for the day. This was not particularly helpful for me regarding my yoga growth because I was using my energy focusing on getting into the pose rather than focusing my energy on practicing what I could already do and learning what it took to actually get into the pose. I feel much better now that I longer participate in yoga challenges. In fact, I have started from the beginning with my yoga practice. And what I mean is not beginner classes but focusing on alignment and breath. These are areas that I was neglecting and now I am directing my energy towards what I have been avoiding.
This goes for my life off the mat as well, there are areas that were being avoided that need not be. I am redirecting my energy to the areas that need it, one specific area: my spirit.
“A complex is stealing energy from our personality.”
– Sunday Adelaja
I have recently downloaded an app to monitor my app usage, mainly my use of social media apps such as Instagram and Twitter. I had come to believe that these apps, specifically Instagram, were providing me with no substance and I was wasting time, time in which I could be productive. For example, the app called Stay Focused indicated that I spent 46 minutes on Instagram one day, granted this was due to watching an episode of Lizzo discussing overcoming problematic life views which was inspiring and motivational. However, was it a productive use of my time? Was I stealing time from myself that I cannot get back that I could have used focusing on projects and tasks that I needed to do or say that I never have time to do? Depends on whether I was being mindful in the moment, if I were really focused on what Lizzo was sharing in the video.
We have come to the yama of asteya or non-stealing. I am not a thief of physical items but I have been stealing from myself on the mat and off the mat. I do not allow myself to fully experience the moment even in my yoga practice. I find my mind wandering in mostly everything I do. If I am practicing yoga, I become engrossed in a stray thought which can lead me to falling out of a pose. I am aware that this happens and I am actively working to become more mindful and present. I am distracted, non-focused, thinking about everything else that I have to do rather than focusing on what I am actually doing. My time on Instagram is mostly mindlessly scrolling and a mode of procrastination. I am actively avoiding the tasks that I say I want to do and need to do. I need to practice yoga as it does much more than strengthen and stretch my body, it does the same action for my mind. I need to focus on my family’s growth and success. I need want to travel more but this requires intense planning. So I am starting from scratch to reclaim my time.
I used to spend time planning my yoga practices for the month. Each week, I targeted an area that I did not feel particularly strong in or needed more practice. It kept me consistent but over time, I stopped doing it and my practice suffered because of it. Not only my practice but my balance off the mat. I started to feel old insecurities and doubts creep back in, my energy began to decline, my worry levels increased, and I was losing my joy. I was stealing my joy by not providing time for myself, for the services that I needed, yet I was keeping things that I did not need. I do not want to steal from myself any longer. I have recommenced planning my yoga practices; even just the planning gave me joy. And I am left with a sense of accomplishment when I follow through on my practices. I want to grow within my spirituality and move beyond trying and into doing.
How often do we find ourselves not doing what we say we would do? We find ourselves participating in activities that serve no purpose; as in they are not providing us with joy or balance? Stealing from yourself is just as egregious as stealing from others. Our time on Earth is minuscule and we should not rob ourselves of our own lives.